Hot Light Sneakers

How do you get a boy "into" shoes? I don't mean on our feet, I mean on our crave list. If air pumps don't work (Air Jordans), you can always put lights in them. I didn't really care much about shoes since I'd given up on my old Thomas Engine straps, but the second my young eyes saw all those kids in the dim light of the commercials leaping over puddles with their heels ablaze in that colored neon light, I knew I NEEDED a pair of Skechers Hot Lights. They looked like something we'd be wearing in the future, and damn did I want to be first in line to board the Enterprise with a pair of those flimsy soles. 

For sure they'd make your every step radiate with coolness, like Michael Jackson in the fricken' Billie Jean video or some shiz... whether they blinked or changed color, stayed lit all the time or only when you stepped, but who knew what would happen if you stomped through a puddle? My mind only saw inevitable death by electrocution with all that "raw electricity" buzzing away at your feet, particularly in such proximity to all kinds of wetness, but little did I know the far more likely scenario was the things just going dead. Until that happened, I probably invented four ways to get them to blink besides just walking around (which never really seemed to work)... one of which involved taking them off and slamming them down on the desk. For some reason, they didn't work very long.

Like much of our most futuristic stuff these days, once the lights went dead on these things, you could forget it. There was no potato test. All of a sudden you'd find that they were harder and harder to get to light, you'd really have to pound your feet down, and then they'd just go out forever. But for the short time they did work, they were certainly cool. Def worth it for the players, am I right hommies? What a way to join the 20th century and embrace the future... light the way to your smelly shoes!