Insane 90s Print Game Ads: Mistakes Were Made (or were they?)

There's a weird part of me that thinks video game companies during the "Console Wars" of the 90s, especially Sega and Nintendo... were trying to market to dudes... and being very successful at doing it. I may be wrong, but... what do I know? I was kinda in the core demographic for these things and it's like "nose blindness" to me at this point. Seriously, I think everything I learned about "the birds and the bees" I learned in kindergarten... via 90s video game ads. What a world.

Below you'll find these self-same cultural artifacts, and trust me, there's some I don't even want to post here because... well... they are definitely too "past yer bedtime" for the 8-year-old me. (Holy panty-clad-chicks-tied-up-in-cages Batman!) I don't even know how they got away with some of the ones I've dug up. In fact, these are some of the more tame ones!

Of course, chicks play video games too, and always did, but it's almost like these companies didn't know or something, because... well... something about how these things were marketed... I can't put my finger on it... doesn't seem like they were trying to appeal to "feminine sensibilities."

Yeah, here's why marketing exclusively to dudes is a bad idea: 

1. Bigger is better confirmed.

2. Haha sex!

3. Underwear is all you really need.

4. OK, a second pair of underwear is all you need... (cuz poop)

5. Haha! OK, this one still works. 

6. Not so much this one...

7. You can lose your masculinity. 

8. Uh... not sure how I feel about this one... give me a few minutes...

9. "Groveling, spanking, decapitation, nut bustin', flying spit... rippin' a good long stun gun fart... suckin' heads up Rhino butts, BALLZ... and all the other stuff that makes life worth living." 

I KNOW how I feel about this one!

10. Haha. Playing with yer worm.

11. Get It?: 

12. It be like that sometimes... amiright fellas? 

13: Drop the load. Yeah. 

14: They will literally hurt you. 

15: Finally some modesty!

Luckily, times have changed and this would totally not happen now... right?