You On Kazoo!

Some things you get nostalgic about are things you were lucky never to have seen when you were a kid, but you know exactly what it is when you see it because there was so much like it back in the day. And there was. The amount of weird direct-to-video VHS tapes that were pumped out in the 80s and 90s on every conceivable (and... "Inconceivable!") topic in existence can not be overstated. At a time before smart phones, anything you could put in a VCR was a parent's best friend to shut us up for a half hour... and they sold very well, although the quality of content is now... well, you know... the stuff that memes are made of. 

At first all I knew about the "Kazoo kid" was that he was a 90s kid meme goldmine. All I can say is, when I first saw "You On Kazoo" it was a few years ago on Youtube, and it genuinely, legitimately, horrified me. Not only did this kid look and behave pretty much like the 8-year-old me (as cringey as that is by itself), but I actually began getting more and more unnerved as the minutes wore on, and had to shut it off, convinced that there is real evil in this world and that it will possess you if you let it. To this day I haven't been able to watch the whole thing, plus some of this kid's other direct-to-video works which are just as terrifying, without getting legitimately, genuninely, creeped-the-fuck out... 

So here you go! Just don't look him in the eyes. You've been warned. 

So just what from the depths of hell ARE you watching? Well, what if I told you that everyone involved in the production of these videos was found ritualistically sacrificed in that very same field? Hmm? Well, then I'd be lying to you because that didn't happen, but after watching this, you'd believe it, right? And what if I told you you'd be next? You can thank me later. Seriously... I just keep waiting for the kid to go, "seven days..." 

Now I'm sure there's a perfectly silly and fun dorky kid cash-grab VHS rationale behind all of this cringe and genuine horror, and yeah, maybe the guy who played "the Kazoo kid" or "Brett" as he calls himself (Brett Ambler) came out in recent years to tell the story of just how these direct-to-VHS 1989 creepypastas came to be. And yeah, it's nice to know he's doing alright and proud of his work when he was an 8-year-old dork himself, but still...

Sometimes you just have to get the spirit to come out... partner...