Creepy Crawlers

I'm going to echo what others have said about the Easy Bake Ovens: they were sexist. Sure, nothing beats a light bulb when it comes to baking the best brownies, but did the ovens always have to be so rounded, soft, and pink? I know many boys would have loved those things if we didn't feel like we were breaking the law by enjoying their edibles. In fact, many young men are coming forth, like myself, and declaring proudly that, yes, because of that machine, baking is cool, even in pink. It's not that I had anything against the color pink. Heck, in the 90s, pink was unavoidable. It was one of the primary colors of the decade. I didn't fear pink, it's just I feared the "implication."

On the other hand, the marketers weren't really ignoring us, for another 60's toy was making a comeback in the 90s. And this one they chose to cast in that other hallowed primary color of the 90s: lime green, making it automatically a "boy toy" for some reason. Easily the boy equivalent to the Easy Bake, it was known as the Creepy Crawler "bug maker" (don't dare call it an oven!). This thing was one of the coolest gadgets ever because it appealed to two of the things boys love: bugs and goop. You'd pour your goop in the molds, slide them into the "bug maker", wait a while and slide them out, extract them one by one and have yourself... inedible rubber bugs... spiders and centipedes...etc., which you could then stick places to gross out the girls, which would cause them to get angry for some reason. Even though they never looked real enough to actually creep anyone out, the girls still kicked our butts for doing it... for some reason.
 
It's not an oven!
But that prank only worked until even they got into it, because really, who says only boys can be into grody, slimy bugs anyways? By then I was already scarfing down those bulb-leavened cupcakes, so things evened out in the culinary arena. And I know I can't be the only one to put a few of these in my mouth. Even though they were inedible and they were bugs, they still at least looked like the most delectably chewy candy ever. Of course, whatever was in that "Plasti-Goop" probably couldn't have been healthy, but whatever. It wasn't the worst goop I've tried.

In any case, all it goes to show is that boys like to cook too, and for that there were slimy bugs, but we also like to eat what we cook, and for that, there were pink ovens. In the end, few were grossed out enough to go hungry... until after the cupcakes set in our systems for 30 minutes.

No comments:

Post a Comment