The Many Parts of the 8-Year-Old Me

Let me drop some knowledge on you. I'll be honest (that's what this blog is all about after all), I'm an attention hog and always have been. Anything that could get me some attention, good or bad, I was down for. "Look at me! Look at me!" Whether I ended up everyone's hero (like the time in gym class I was a goalie and stopped a hockey puck with my CROTCH!), or was shamed as the worst kid picked to lead the class in the "pledge of allegiance" ever (yes, I say "one naked, undergarment"...),  I was desperate to prove myself worthy of the stuff of legends. Of course, legends are usually built on lies, and like most kids, I was very good at lying, and being stupid, and having a groin of steel.

Growing up, I could be so many personalities around so many types of people. At school, the 8-year-old me had this "class clown meets Jr. Mr. Executive" thing going on. Around the boys I wanted to be cool with, I was a rebel, a kid who'd eat the classroom fish food if it would cause a couple laughs (I don't know how fish eat that stuff). Around boys who already thought I was cool, I'd suddenly become more mysterious and entertain them with tales of the Cub Scouts I'd never witnessed (I made it sound like recruit training--like any of those all-time great war movies like Full Metal Jacket, swearing included!). I once wore an elastic band around my leg and claimed it was to show where "I'd lost a limb" in the "war games." Lies! The closest to war I'd ever come was to sit through all 90 minutes of Major Payne.

Around girls at school I liked, I basically just answered all their "what is your favorite animal"-type questions and watched them swoon whenever I randomly interjected "dolphins" (all the girls back then wanted to be marine biologists after Free Willy). They loved my sensitive sides. Around girls at school I didn't like, I was still eating the fish food, but for the opposite reason (although the little marine biologists among them might have dug my "sensitivity" for the fish). In truth though, dolphins rock. I just liked them because of the Sega game Ecco the Dolphin, where they could fly in the air in the future, beat up sharks, and attack giant squid monsters! (Ah, Medusa, we shall meet again). I guess the girls just liked them because dolphins are also an animal that is probably "smarter than boys." And they are probably right.

I was only really myself around my immediate family, which was just to say, an average kid who wasn't a pre-military adventurer, wasn't a comedian, wasn't a covert girl dipped in Lisa-Frank rainbows, and wasn't a (complete) doofus. I was a nice kid, a bit starved for attention, who liked to draw and had a bit of talent with it, who liked movies and anything creative, liked pretending that my entire life was one big movie and going around inventing scenes for it. I played a lot of different parts for sure. Unless we're talking about "family" as in my girl cousins, because they only got to see the Ace Ventura part whenever my brother and I were around. It was just too much fun not to. But they were never as impressed as I was about how I could make zany animal noises, stick things in my nose, crack good ole' penis jokes, and bend over and "talk with my rear."

But that's me.

No comments:

Post a Comment